Paperwork

Sitting at Starbucks the other day filling out the 14-page application for Africa (already had my interview, went SO well, now on to the hard-core process), I came across a couple of odd questions. One was “How do you use your singlehood as a strength?” Ummm, I dunno. I don’t think you have to be all that strong to be single-I like being single for now. I like that I can pick up and move to Africa for a year or two and I don’t have to run that by a husband or figure out how my culturally vapid American kids are going to grow up in a third world country. Second question was “How do you want to grow as a single?” Uhhhh….. What does that even mean? Do people actually think about that? My being single isn’t really a state of “being” that determines the course of my life all that much. I don’t look at things in my life like “ok, I’m single, so do I want a chai latte or a tazo tea?” or “I’m single, so I’ll take the super-awesome red high heels rather than the super-awesome blue high heels”. I guess maybe I’d like to grow stronger in my decision not to compromise my standards when it comes to romantic relationships? I don’t think I need all that much growth there though, I’m pretty selective about the people I allow into my life (yea, yea, recent events excluded).

Odd questions. I’m not quite sure what to put down for those without sounding like a smarta$$.
The rest of the 14 pages had some interesting questions that really made me think about the way I handle stress and stuff, and the psych assessments in my profile reveal that I’m normal (who would have thunk it?! ). Good to know. Also a very good thing they didn’t ask about caffeine or shoe addictions-I’d be screwed. Ha ha. Just need to sign on the dotted line and send that sucker off! Woo hoo!

 

Decisions

Been thinking about going overseas for a while now. I spent four amazing, life-changing months in Peru a few years ago, and ever since then I’ve been wrestling with the idea of making that type of work into my career. So, I finished school, took some time off to detox, then re-joined the workforce. In Atlanta. But, in the back of my mind there was that nagging “what are doing?” feeling. Watching “M” go to South Africa, then the Pacific Rim, talking to her about why I wasn’t doing what I felt like I was called to do. Now, I’m not a “quiver in my liver” type of Christian, I don’t think that the Lord gives me goosebumps or flashing red arrows leading me to His will. However, you know when you’re being called to something. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t get it, it always sounds kind of hokey. So, I’m looking into going back on the field to Africa sometime in the next year or two. I don’t want to jump into this, mainly because that’s what I do-run full out into something without always thinking it through. I want to make sure this is His will, not mine.

Why Africa? I have no idea. The thought of living in the back-country of the “Dark Continent” quite frankly freaks me out. I mean, they have some seriously freaky wildlife/bugs/diseases/parasites/militias there! Dad wasn’t very reassuring-he said “well, if you spend an extended amount of time in Africa you WILL come back with something”. Sweet. Bring on the weird parasites and bouts of malaria! I know me, I know that I’m a bleeding heart idealist, that I want to do something worthwhile with my life, that I don’t particularly enjoy sitting in an office, that I refuse to live a life of apathy, and that I don’t always enjoy living in the United States (not ready to give up the citizenship though ). I don’t want much, do I?

I’m still thinking about it all, praying like a crazy person, wondering if I can handle a year in the African bush. I don’t have to make any decisions right now, so that’s comforting. But I need to do so in the coming month(s). Why can’t I be a missionary to Jamaica or Rio or something? Ha ha… Guess God doesn’t call us to do what we want, but what He wants, and that’s usually what we need. Despite fears of spiders, parasites, snakes, and roving packs of hyenas and other fauna.