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I returned from Ohio yesterday, having visited my sister and her family for 6 days. She lives in a small town, and it is always a shock to come back to the bustling city of Atlanta after spending time there. I never truly appreciate the slow pace until I am immersed in it for a time-granted, my life is currently much more busy than I would like, but grad school will do that to you.

At one point during my visit, my 6-year-old niece overheard a conversation regarding my plans after grad school. I’m relatively certain I will be moving away from Atlanta when I am done, if only because being in the city plain wears on me. I know I will be going overseas eventually, probably a year or two after grad school (or right away, if the Lord has other plans for me). Other than that, who knows? In any case, my niece piped up with “move here, Auntie Lokimomma.” Hmmmm…yea…I’m not quite sure what on earth I would do in said city, as I’m fairly certain the job market isn’t exactly booming. I toyed with the idea for a minute, but that point of decision is so very far in the future that I cannot seriously consider it at this point. It would be wonderful to be closer to my sister and her hubby/kiddoes, but I just don’t know about uprooting and moving there. In any case, it certainly got me thinking about settling in a more rural area or at least an urban setting that is significantly smaller than Atlanta.

Really not much point to the rambling, just thought-streaming. I rarely realize how very busy life is in a large city, and I’m faced with a sense of weariness when I return to it. My schedule is insane because of work and school, and although I realize that it is a means to and end, I’m worn out most of the time. That is compounded by the pace of life here in Atlanta (it’s a sprint, not a jog). In thinking on this today, I happened to pass by one of my favorite blogs: Kisses From Katie While catching up on her life in Uganda, I realize I have no business complaining. Sure, what I’m doing right now is preparing me for a life of ministry, but WOW. Katie’s blog really helped put things in perspective, and it always humbles me. I’m certainly not saying we should all run to Africa and adopt numerous children-we all have different gifts to give. However, her walk inspires. It challenges me to truly live for Him, with every step I take. So yes, I think I can hack it for another year.

 

Decisions

Been thinking about going overseas for a while now. I spent four amazing, life-changing months in Peru a few years ago, and ever since then I’ve been wrestling with the idea of making that type of work into my career. So, I finished school, took some time off to detox, then re-joined the workforce. In Atlanta. But, in the back of my mind there was that nagging “what are doing?” feeling. Watching “M” go to South Africa, then the Pacific Rim, talking to her about why I wasn’t doing what I felt like I was called to do. Now, I’m not a “quiver in my liver” type of Christian, I don’t think that the Lord gives me goosebumps or flashing red arrows leading me to His will. However, you know when you’re being called to something. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t get it, it always sounds kind of hokey. So, I’m looking into going back on the field to Africa sometime in the next year or two. I don’t want to jump into this, mainly because that’s what I do-run full out into something without always thinking it through. I want to make sure this is His will, not mine.

Why Africa? I have no idea. The thought of living in the back-country of the “Dark Continent” quite frankly freaks me out. I mean, they have some seriously freaky wildlife/bugs/diseases/parasites/militias there! Dad wasn’t very reassuring-he said “well, if you spend an extended amount of time in Africa you WILL come back with something”. Sweet. Bring on the weird parasites and bouts of malaria! I know me, I know that I’m a bleeding heart idealist, that I want to do something worthwhile with my life, that I don’t particularly enjoy sitting in an office, that I refuse to live a life of apathy, and that I don’t always enjoy living in the United States (not ready to give up the citizenship though ). I don’t want much, do I?

I’m still thinking about it all, praying like a crazy person, wondering if I can handle a year in the African bush. I don’t have to make any decisions right now, so that’s comforting. But I need to do so in the coming month(s). Why can’t I be a missionary to Jamaica or Rio or something? Ha ha… Guess God doesn’t call us to do what we want, but what He wants, and that’s usually what we need. Despite fears of spiders, parasites, snakes, and roving packs of hyenas and other fauna.