Tired….

I got zero sleep last night. OK, that’s a lie-I got a whopping 2 or 3 hours. Thus, I feel like crap. Totally my fault, but I can still whine. Easy day at work though, routine stuff, sit at desk and do admin-things. I can do this. I can make it till 5pm without collapsing.
I unlocked the door and entered my office this morning. Crap. Looking at Outlook for the day and three meeting reminders that are going “ding” “ding” “ding” “ding” “ding” “ding” “ding” “ding”………(you get the idea). Today I get to do work on the statistics database. Awesome. Because I can totally think straight right now-straight enough to use stats software without screwing it up. Oh yea, then there’s the email from obnoxious co-worker letting me know she needs me to translate her workshop into Spanish and she needs that by today. Thanks lady, good to know that your workshop TOMORROW is just being organized and I get to drop everything on my plate for today and translate the crap you need now. Yes, that’s my job, but seriously? The day before you’re doing your presentation? Yep, you suck. No, I don’t think the phrase “birds of a feather flock together” will translate very well. Why? Because they don’t say that in most Spanish-speaking countries, and it won’t rhyme all cutesy-like once I put it in Spanish. No, I don’t have time to research a relevant catch-phrase in Spanish that we can use instead. Yes, I realize that the English original fits on one page, but no, I can’t make it all fit on one page in Word because the translation is longer. No, I won’t see what I can do about that. You’ll have to just suck it up and use more paper.
Yes, I am tired and grumpy. But seriously, poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. Ha. Take that. Is it nap time yet?

 

Night Romps

Last night at approximately 3:24am I woke to find my dog, Loki, staring fixedly into my eyes from a distance of approximately 1/4 of an inch. In Cairn Terrier language this means “get your big butt out of bed-I have to pee”, “I’m bored”, “I was fed some people-food that SOOOO didn’t agree with me”, “I don’t want to sleep anymore”, or “I’m hungry”. I rolled over, may have grunted, and tried to fall back asleep. Oh no, Loki would not be having this. He proceeded to whimper like a small child being flogged with a switch, whilst hurling himself at my bedroom door. I attempted to get out of bed, and managed to kind of fall out onto the floor (I curse yet love you, memory foam mattress), slid on my tennies, grabbed some dog jerky (the only way he will come within 10 feet of me when we are outside), and opened the front door to blast of arctic air. OK, my roomate’s outdoor thermometer said 49, but still, arctic.
Loki ran to the grassy area behind our building and proceeded to urinate on every upright object/plant/blade of grass, etc… Oh, but then he sees the rabbit. S*#t.
He chases the rabbit not only around the yard but under the fence and into the wooded area behind the apartment complex. I stared rather blankly at the fence and the woods and tried to figure out what had just happened and how on earth I’m going to chase down my dog, seeing how I cannot simply go look for him. I don’t even know what is back there, especially at 3:30am.
I may have just stood there for a few minutes, but at some point I went back inside with the goal of finding a flashlight. Keep in mind we have about five of them, but zero were able to be found at that time. In my exhaustion I figured “hey, maybe if I can find some matches or a lighter, I can use that”. Yea, ok, like that’s going to do any good. Right as I’m standing forlorn-like in my living room thinking my wonder-dog is gone forever and I can barely function I’m so tired, I hear a small body hurling itself at my front door and when I open it, Loki is looking at me like “what the crap, Mom? Why’d you leave me out there?” I gave him two entire sticks of dog jerky and fell asleep with him practically in a choke-hold, wondering what I’d do without him.